jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
