I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
