the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
