i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Ladies don't puke and tell
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
