So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
So here I am, sexting at work.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
