he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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