Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
