Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
