As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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