How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
