She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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