He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
