yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Randomize
