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Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
