she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
