I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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