I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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