If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
pop tarts are not kleenex
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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