I'm so fucking centered right now
My brain says no but my pants say off.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
