I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I will die if light touches me.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
