it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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