she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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