Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
