The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
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