Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
