chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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