Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
