it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize
