everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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