I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
