She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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