Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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