they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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