Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
