I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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