That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
