Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
