Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
