there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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