her vagina looked like bernie madoff
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
