Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
