I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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