operation harelip BJ is a go
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
