oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
