Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
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