Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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