please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
