I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
