LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
