Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
this will be a night to untag.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
